Go Your Own Way

I am having a breakthrough in my writing of sorts. But, it ends up how I want to write my second book. I will save all the details after next year. After I get it all together. It has been hard to focus on my blogging. Because, I didn't really want to share it yet. But, I felt compelled even though a lot of this process is a work in progress. This morning I wrote about Elizabeth Gilbert in my book list in my shop. This is what I said: I was lucky enough to win a scholarship at Omega Institute last year. The workshop I attended was lead by Rob Bell and Elizabeth Gilbert. It was called the Art of Creation. It had a little bit of everything including some drawing exercises, meditation and lessons on how to get unstuck. During the years 2013 and 2015 I wrote a blog called : Paris London Asbury Park. I wanted to write a book about being an empty nester. We still owned our store, but I went back to work full time. It was probably the busiest I had ever been in my life. Way different than raising twins, which took place at home. This was a long commute, Keeping the books for the store. Filling in at the store on my days off. But, the book I wanted to write was going to be personal. And, how we were navigating the empty nest. And, how our life was filled with days spent in Asbury Park. A city that was being raised from the ashes of the riots (in early 70's) like a Phoenix. Now that I am divorced, I don't want to include anyone else in the book I write. I also read Big Magic during this time. And, was a follower on social media. She really resonated with me. I subscribe to her substack. I look forward each Sunday to her posts. Her practice for more then twenty five years is to write herself a letter to herself from LOVE. I enjoy reading this each week and a special guest contributer also writes thier letter. I have tried several times to do this and just can't seem to do it. And, the last few Mondays I was going to write the letter and share it. And, I feel I am still too vulnerable. And, honestly love is the most complex feeling I am still sorting out. But, what I can write about is my own practice. I live right across the street from some woods. And, the birds sing to me most days as I leave, and arrive home. I decided to listen to the birds. And, wonder what they would say to me if they could talk. Oh God, I am imagining the lady on the steps of St. Pauls in London feeding the birds, already. This visual is from Mary Poppins, by the way. But, anyway I started writing poems. And, for me it is my very own comfort I have created for myself. Last week I completed three little paintings using acrylics. It is very different from watercolors. They break all the rules of painting I learned in college. But, these processes of breaking the rules and "going my own way" is helping me i creativly. And, sharing something I am not particularly proud of is also helping me with my confidence.