Wrestling My Thoughts

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear in that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." By Marianne Williamson Words are powerful. Writing has been the most positive thing in my life, for the last fifteen years. It allows me to process my thoughts, and reverse the script that creeps into my brain. When I first started to meditate I paid close attention to how I thought, I was disgusted with myself. I thought: "why waste your time struggling to do everything right, and not give yourself any credit?". So this October through my art, and actually taking my dishes to North Carolina. I am letting go. I am living up to my mom's mantra (bumper sticker) Let Go Let God. I still have a lot of feelings and physical stuff to let go of. When it is hard I read this quote, and close my eyes for about ten minutes. Then I am alone with myself and think. And, fifteen years later my thoughts are kinder and more tender to myself. Now, I can take what I have learned in the last year. I really look at what I pay attention to, now. And, I am not letting the outside world in as much (not watching news and trying not let the weather effect my decisions). So, I realize now, how curious I really am. And, I wondered what my fascination with the lavender fields is. And, lavender fields represent peace on earth. And, that is my biggest wish. Not just for myself, but for everyone. Song of the day: Life is a Carnival by the Band