BE-Longing

I am taking a wonderful writing class (it is actually called writing sanctuary). Today was the last day. Yesterday the prompt was BE-Longing. And it gave a whole new meaning to the word belonging. One of the wonderful parts of the 2023 (my year to just be) was the FREE time. If there was a call to action, it was done in my time. What a gift this is. It gave me time to recognize my feelings. Not only recognize them, but to really feel them. This is something I have naturally not had time for. When I was very young, I would cry a lot. And, I was called a cry baby many times. As I got older I really tried hard to stuff those feelings way down. Something happened when I was pregnant with the twins. I often found it hard to cry. I don't know whether it was because I didn't have the time. I don't think it was, I just didn't feel like it. I started blogging when I was approaching the empty nest. I I was planning on how to stay busy, to help with the loss of a busy bustling household. Yesterday, I found an invitation for a Christmas Cookie swap. I looked at the date, and couldn't believe it was twenty years ago. WOW! I really started to think about the last twenty years and the joy those years brought me. But, also those parties I would also be totally exhausted. My year of being has brought me REST. And, it is the best feeling. I have longed for rest. Didn't realize it until it happened. I love when I think of when I was a child and teenager. I think of all the things I longed for. And, they came true. Appreciative is all I feel for my past. That is a huge accomplishment to feel that way, so quickly after a divorce. I can't wait for this year to put into words in book form. I am longing to go to France and embrace all of these feelings and write them down. And, I think the saying "the grass is always greener on the side" keeps coming to mind. It is one of the things my mother would say to me when I was wanting, yearning or longing as a child. I just want to spend some time in France and really feel the difference between there and New Jersey. And, then I will be satisfied with the saying "bloom where you are planted."