Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago in January I didn't know I would be on a tour bus in Rome, Italy. With my mother taking pictures of me. Yesterday, I was able to dig a little into our photos and journal from the trip. We both had the same journal, and the first day we wrote at the same time. Sharing almost identical details about the cage elevator, fabric wallpaper and overall love of Rome at first sight. She ended her journal with wishing every athiest could visit Rome. Most trips I like to know in advance, so I can look forward to it. She made a reservation for a tour with a Catholic group called: "On Angel's Wings". I made a reservation for four days before her tour started, for the plane and rooms. I was amazed at the deal I found through Italia airlines. My mother during this time, was beginning to struggle just walking. She huffed and puffed a lot, and had to sit many times. But, after this trip she used a walker to get out and about. I remember her calling me at the end of January to do this trip. It was a year after my dad had passed away. I told her I already put in for my vacation. So, I started looking on the internet, and thought I could get 2 personal days added to my 2 days off that week. It worked out, so 2 days on our own, and 2 days with the group. I had no idea what to expect, and I didn't have much time to think about it. We spent the first day walking and shopping around the Spanish Steps. My mom kept questioning why everyone was just sitting on the steps. I really did not know the answer. All I knew, I was in awe of the fresh air, ancient fountains, and fresh flowers blooming. We made it to an Art museum. But, all the walking was hard on my mom. The next day we did the bus tour around Rome. This picture of me was a surprise. I didn't know my mom was taking my picture. My mom would be attending Good Friday at the Colossium the next week. And, I was thinking how lucky she was to attend such an event. The next two days we stayed at a Covent in the Vatican City. My mom wanted to rest this day. So, I ventured to St. Peter's by myself. I felt like I was walking on air. I waited a long time in line. It was a warm day, but luckily my shoulders were covered, so I could enter. I was immediately overwhelmed. For the first time in my life I thought I was going to faint. It was the darkest, yet most exquisite space I have ever set foot in. When I witnessed Michaelangelo's "La Pieta" I had to sit down to get my composure. When I was with my sister a couple of weeks ago. She talked about seeing it at the World's Fair in 1964. I realized we never talked much about things like that. And, it was so nice to see how she described it to her husband. I loved how she could remember how shiney it was. I feel extremely lucky and grateful to have seen this sculpture twice in my life. The next day we went to Palm Sunday service. We had reserved seats for the two and a half hour service, which was in Latin. When we kneeled it was on the ancient stoned ground. It was the longest time to kneel, and I was determined to do this the required time. I saw a few people who were kneeling the whole service, who motivated me. The priest, who was part of the group my mom was traveling with, kept apologizing. And, I kept saying I was so thankful we had seats. But, he kept saying the Pope wasn't well, and the seats were by the path the "Pope mobile" usually traveled through as he exited. Overall, the Mass was amazing. The music was beautiful as it traveled through the cleanest of air. There was a gentle cool breeze on a sunny blue sky day in Spring. There were several readings from people from all over the world. Only one was in English. As we turned to leave, I could hear the roar of the crowd. I started to make out "Il Papa!!!!" And, it was getting closer. Before, I even could understand what was happening the vehicle holding the Pope stopped right in front of us. The Pope motioned for the baby (who had my mom's attention the whole service). The father picked up the baby and the Pope kissed his head. I can still hear the crowd, as it went from a silence when the vehicle stopped to a roar after he kissed the baby. I told my mom that all happened just for her. She and I were smiling ear to ear (as described in her journal). My mom kept journals, and I don't want to open them. But, revisiting this trip during Lent is such a blessing. To process it, and it had been twenty years since this trip was remarkable. During this time I was going home to a house with a swimming pool. We bought that 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house in 1993. It now was a three bedroom three bathroom house. I designed the kitchen and laundry area. It was a dream come true. And, it was finished. We took the roof off at the same time Brielle Galleries closed in 2001. And, the last piece of wallpaper was applied before we had the repass for my dad in 2003. It was so much work, but it was the biggest reward of our lifetime. The last twenty years have been a blessing. So, much to be thankful for. Just like I had no idea I would ever go to Rome, I had no idea this would be what life would be like as a sixty four year old. But, the gift of time is truley the best reward. I want to figure out how how to spend more time living, and less time thinking. That part is tricky and costly. But, I am content. And, I am looking forward to attending Mass at St. Catharines. It just so happens St. Catharines is modeled after St. Peter's in Rome. And, again we are blessed to have been baptized there. My children included. I pray hard these days with nothing in particular in mind. And, each time I go, I feel rejuvinated. But, not enough to make it there weekly. The best thing I am letting go of is guilt. And, just be thankful and celebrate the times I do get there. Quote of the Day: "It is urgent to live enchanted" Valter Hugo Mae Song of the Day: "Dont' Stop Believin" Journey. I lookied this up as this came up in a zoom call with Susan Cain (Author of a favorite book I read last year: Bittersweet and Chris Guillebeau who had this conference ten years ago. Brene Brown was in attendance! I am looking forward to Chris's upcoming book about time anxiety. These authors are young, but they are speaking a lot of relatable language to me and hitting a note about taking time. I am part of a community on Substacks. I recieved a scholarship and am so grateful to witness these intimate conversations.