The Butterfly Wrestler

When I wake up in the morning I am in the closest of a dream state, then any other time of the day. I haven't really had a chance for my whole brain to work,yet. The real part of me that tells me I don't deserve to pursue the dreams I fantaize about. So, this morning I am writing this, hopefully, in a way you the reader will understand. This is not easy, the journey of a writer. But, it was the path not taken. Why? Mostly on my part was confusion, confidence, motivation, procrastination and vulnerablity. But, I woke up this morning thinking of a subject that came up in writing class, yesterday. And, I chimed in, I have trouble with confidence. I have a side of me that does NOT encourage me to do things. Especially, speak in public. But, the last month I have been getting out there, and it has a made a BIG positive difference. For example 21 reviews on Ebay, since I started a few months ago. My writing class appreciating me. Stepping out of my comfort zone to appreci

October just flew by, and now we are in the middle of November. There are still about fifty days to achieve any goals for the year 2023. I set my sights low with the only goal to just BE for the year 2023. I did this on purpose to go easy, and just go with flow. But, sometimes I surprise myself with what is not easy for me. It is not easy for me to reach out to friends. The dialogue in my head is rediculous. October I spent every day painting a leaf with a word to let go of and the next page a word to let in. For example one page was fear and the facing page was love. I noticed I love to splatter paint some days at the end. And, those were days I felt frustrated with myself. I think those splashes were what I can't control. And, I loved to see how they reacted to the wet paint. I really do love to watch life unfold, and sometimes see what good can come from being vulnerable. It is the Artist part of me, that is the hardest to grow. I can plant the seeds, by practic

I realize as I go along selling things on ebay, how much things I own can tell a story. But, it is so sad to think some parts of my life are just a story, now. I worked for fours stores that closed. I am processing all this still. And, realizing how each one I had to adapt too. Some I actually had more empathy for the owners and my bosses then myself. Actually, all of them I did. And, part of being alone now is I realized how much I have lived like this. But, anyway today was really remarkable. I looked for a Christopher Radko interview to share. I thought it would help me in selling them. And, did it ever! I didn't realize he sold his company in 2005. I did realize in the quality of the product. I realized they were all hand blown glass and hand painted in Poland. I knew when they first came out and we sold them at Brielle Galleries they were very collectable. We all tried to talk ourselves into buying the first in the series of the 12 days of Christmas. I could