What Would Dolly Do?

When I wake up in the morning I am in the closest of a dream state, then any other time of the day. I haven't really had a chance for my whole brain to work,yet. The real part of me that tells me I don't deserve to pursue the dreams I fantaize about. So, this morning I am writing this, hopefully, in a way you the reader will understand. This is not easy, the journey of a writer. But, it was the path not taken. Why? Mostly on my part was confusion, confidence, motivation, procrastination and vulnerablity. But, I woke up this morning thinking of a subject that came up in writing class, yesterday. And, I chimed in, I have trouble with confidence. I have a side of me that does NOT encourage me to do things. Especially, speak in public. But, the last month I have been getting out there, and it has a made a BIG positive difference. For example 21 reviews on Ebay, since I started a few months ago. My writing class appreciating me. Stepping out of my comfort zone to appreciate their courage. What was my secret for the last month? I would ask myself "What Would Dolly Do? Instead of asking myself before I would list something on Ebay. Questions like "Who would buy this?", "If I don't want it, who else is?" "This is not worth that much to me, why is someone going to pay this price?" I thought of things like, what can I include in the shipment to show gratitude? And, when I thought of all of these little paintings I have created. I felt like I hit the jackpot! And, the two shipments I showed on social media in the beginning of the week. They both gave me a good reviews already. This also was an experiment. I made these little clothespin dolls, and they are what I would think the Butterfly Wrester is. I just did it without much thought. I want to go back and explain them. But, I am not going to. Because the experiment was to do a search for the Butterfly Wrestler after a week of listing them. And, they came up right to the top of the search. BINGO!!! That is being able to find a needle in a haystack. It means everything. Because, when you write a blog in the beginning, only who you share the link with finds you. But, if a person starts hearing about the Butterfly Wrestler, they might google it. And, the only way it comes to the top, is if the search engine can find it. So, basically EBAY has given me the platform and voice I have been looking for. Now, I have a Dolly Parton collage I created two years ago. Last week I filled in all the blank spots with my favorite Dolly Quotes. I also put in the lightening bolt "Rockstar". I admire Dolly and this latest album. She created an album basically as what her fans see her as. Not, how she sees herself as a country singer. And, basically that is my story, too, as the Butterfly Wrester. People see the outside me. They have no I idea what I struggle with. Thankfully, they don't see all the racing thoughts going through in my brain. But, writing brings all that out. And, sharing it takes a huge amount of courage. Quote of the day: "You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try." Dolly Parton Song of the day: Freebird. Dolly Parton with Leonard Skynard Dolly Parton Rockstar Collage on EBAY

Don't Stop

October just flew by, and now we are in the middle of November. There are still about fifty days to achieve any goals for the year 2023. I set my sights low with the only goal to just BE for the year 2023. I did this on purpose to go easy, and just go with flow. But, sometimes I surprise myself with what is not easy for me. It is not easy for me to reach out to friends. The dialogue in my head is rediculous. October I spent every day painting a leaf with a word to let go of and the next page a word to let in. For example one page was fear and the facing page was love. I noticed I love to splatter paint some days at the end. And, those were days I felt frustrated with myself. I think those splashes were what I can't control. And, I loved to see how they reacted to the wet paint. I really do love to watch life unfold, and sometimes see what good can come from being vulnerable. It is the Artist part of me, that is the hardest to grow. I can plant the seeds, by practicing something creative. But, with my eyes, I still see the third grade girl scout me, come out on paper. But, this is all good. I want to have the time to really see. I am so glad I reached out to Cathleen Malpass. She is the widow of Michael Malpass who passed away in 1991, and was my sculpture teacher at Georgian Court University. The picture above is the studio in Brick. It has taken me many years of thinking about visiting there. And, I finally did it. I know I have mentioned Michael Malpass before. But, I feel he was the only teacher who really encouraged me to enter the art world. And, this is where the confusion and fear comes in for me. I don't know how or what to do. First and foremost I enjoy writing and sharing. Then I am loving watercolor painting. But, I have to unlearn so much from when I was an art student. I loved when one teacher said NOT to ever use an eraser. There are NO mistakes. WOW, that was freeing. But, then the same teacher said.....don't outline in black, don't use words in your art, don't paint from photographs, etc.. So, I have been doing a lot of unlearning and it is very freeing. Now I am getting a little anxious and questioning the affordablility of an Artist Residencey in France next year. But, I am determined and know deep down this is the time of my life to release any fears and live with no regrets. Quote of the Day: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope empathy, accountability, and authenticity.” Brene Brown Song of the day: Don't Stop Jon Batiste

The Story of My Christopher Radko Ornaments

I realize as I go along selling things on ebay, how much things I own can tell a story. But, it is so sad to think some parts of my life are just a story, now. I worked for fours stores that closed. I am processing all this still. And, realizing how each one I had to adapt too. Some I actually had more empathy for the owners and my bosses then myself. Actually, all of them I did. And, part of being alone now is I realized how much I have lived like this. But, anyway today was really remarkable. I looked for a Christopher Radko interview to share. I thought it would help me in selling them. And, did it ever! I didn't realize he sold his company in 2005. I did realize in the quality of the product. I realized they were all hand blown glass and hand painted in Poland. I knew when they first came out and we sold them at Brielle Galleries they were very collectable. We all tried to talk ourselves into buying the first in the series of the 12 days of Christmas. I couldn't do it. My children were main priority during this time. I didn't want to spend a lot of money on anything that could break. I was Christmas shopping with a friend during this time, and we were in a Marshall's. They were selling these ornaments at half the price. And, she knew I loved them, and she did too. We both loved decorating traditionally and in Victorian style. She asked if I would ever buy one. And I answered "No way". And it is then, we decided to buy one for each other for Christmas, it would be ok. I bought stands to hang them in the shelves. Never wanting the chance of the tree falling down. So, that is why I own them. Later, I have put them on my trees and hung them in the window, when we downsized in 2011. I haven't put up a tree in my new home, yet. But, I have been collecting and making felt ornaments to put on a fake tree, eventually. I just haven't found the right tree, yet. But, the real interesting part of Christopher Radko's story was when he told the story of designing the ornaments like writing a song. And, I thought of myself as I have been making my butterfly wresters (now listed on ebay). He said it was lke songwriting and songwriters who bought his ornaments. When he mentioned Bruce Springsteen bought a whole tree of ornaments for his wife....my mouth was wide open in surprise. The last two years Brielle Galleries was in business, I helped Patty Scalfia Springsteen Christmas shop. It was very exciting, especially picking out Buccelatti silver for Pavoratti. Anyway, I helped her buy 50 Santas on a motorcycles by Christopher Radko. But, then she cancelled the order. But, anyway, they were very special Christmases. Especially, the second one when she came in and asked for me by name to help her. The next Christmas we were closed. By, that time I was working as manufacturers representative in wholesale. Which, also was an exciting job. But, most of all it brings me to the fact I have worked in retail for a very long time. And, most Christmas Eve's I have spent in a store. I am just now processing I have this time in my life now. It is wide open, how to spend my Christmas season. I have weekends off before Christmas, oh my! Quote of the day: It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time. Steve Jobs Song of the Day: Marcus Mumford Awaken My Soul