The Butterfly Wrestler

My biggest hill to climb in the last three years was how to cultivate love. Amanda Gorman at the Democratic Convention even talked about how our country could come back to love. Michelle Obama talked about motherly love and encouragement. This makes me feel I am not alone on my journey. I am not the only one seeking love to mend a broken heart. I find love everywhere. My senses are alive and in tune with the beautiful world we live in. Day by day I pay attention to all the goodness I can find. In what I see, hear, smell, taste, touch and feel. I try to paint it in my journals, so these feelings can stay with me. This year has been really special, because I can live in my house all day long in total quiet. Something I have never been able to do before. I started realizing music was actually replaying memories, and making me feel distracted from the present day. I realized how good it would feel to complete a book I was reading. In the winter months I would start three di

It was 1999 and I had interviewed in New York City. I was recommended by Nancy Petracco, who owned Crabtree and Evelyn in Spring Lake. Brielle Galleries was closed or closing. The interview went well, and for the first time in my life, I said I had to think about it. We had just put an addition on our house, and my twins were eight years old. I ended up taking the job. I was a manufacture's representative for about forty toy and stationery companies. My territory was central and south Jersey. It was my yellow brick road into a world of free merchandise being delivered to my door daily. The two publishing companies I represented were Workman Publishing and Andrews and McMeel. To say I loved this job was an understatement. The day of my birthday I recieved a box from All Night Media. It was a Thank You and the letter G rubber stamp including embossing powder, rubberstamp pad, and heat gun. It said this was for me to use and practice with, to help sell the product. It w

The last few weeks became very exciting. Like a child, I put my brush to paper. Imagining what my bookshop would look like. It was fun putting it on paper. I added a rainbow. Because, on social media I wanted to include the song "Reading Rainbow". The next day is when I saw a rainbow without rain. It is not an arched rainbow, but like a cloud rainbow. This was very rectangular. Of course, it freaked me out. I look for signs. And, I really haven't had many this year. Last year I was finding mushrooms everywhere and taking pictures. This just gives me the feeling like, I am living an enchanting life, like a fairy tale. And, seeing a rare rainbow like this made me feel all the feels. Shortly, after first seeing the rainbow, a new song from Cage the Elephant called Rainbow came on my radio. I used to call this my radio karma. Today, I would call it devine timing. Whatever it is, I'll take it! I also downloaded a vidio on you tube. I will be trying every

I write because it is scary. No, I write because it is a relief to get words on paper. I believe my training in goal setting and in taking action in my retail career is what is making me a writer today. I also believe meditation during the most challenging times gave me the confidence to follow through. I started my blog in 2008, and I haven't stopped since. I was told different things about my writing. Geralyn, who cares? That was a big one! So, sometimes I would just write and not share it (thinking no one would care). Then someone out of the blue would tell me not to stop. Then I would hear it is SO personal what you share. And, then I would pull back again. Then I would hear your latest post really inspired me. Then I would hear you write like your life is like a fairy tale, and I know it is not. So, that is why I shared the picture of the house I lived in from 2021 until 2022. This house I rode by for many years. I would wonder who lives there. I imagined a

In 2020 the first post I did was to celebrate the four year old me. I finally feel like I can put myself back in that place again. But, look forward to all that is ahead of me. This year of not working was clearing my mind, heart and soul. I felt in order to do that, I had to feel everything. Think about the past and feel it. And, it was wonderful. But, I realized how long, naturally, I have been talking to myself, unkindly. So, it has been a process. A process I have taken great pride in. I listened to what makes me happy and peaceful. If it made me nervous, I did it anyway. But, when it came to feeling vulnerable, I took a step back. Trust of others is my biggest issue. And, it is still something I am dealing with. This week I took a picture of my grandson on the same ride, as I had been on in this picture. The boats have been replaced, but it still has the bell. And, the bell still sounds the same. He took control of the steering wheel, and never let go. But, to