The Butterfly Wrestler

Sustainability is a BIG word. I think I hear it today more then any time in my life. I believe it is one of my biggest faults, as far as guilt goes. When I was younger I tried to feel I was more conscience about it. But, as life got busier I just did whatever was easier. I resisted buying bottled water for the longest time, for example. I now am still buying it. I ask myself, why? And, try to consciencely change this behavior. As, I just bought some yesterday, I am slowly getting there. It is really hard to change habit. I will say I haven't bought or drank soda since April. That is a big deal for me. When I was working, I always had a large pepsi with my lunch. I started drinking water out of the tap during this time, too. I don't notice a taste with water, so that is a good thing. I just don't know what made me stop using it out of the tap. Another thing that I have stopped buying is paper towels. When I worked at April Cornell I bought beautiful small wa

This month has been amazing. I am really digging deep into to my true feelings. I can't wait until next week, when I get to take some little road trips again. The amount of guilt I feel on a daily basis is astounding. The one feeling that really got me yesterday was guilt. I feel huge amount of guilt for really stupid things. I walked out the door and thought I should really pull out a few weeds. And, I should give my plants a good watering. Well, I just didn't feel like it, so I didn't. I took a ride to this Art's Center that is right down the street. I recieved an email that there is a high school student painting a butterfly. I missed getting a picture of her painting. But, I did get a picture of her work in progress. I have to give kudos to the township of Brick. They created a little oasis. A little secret garden. One is a community garden and the other is a pollinator garden. There is a garden club. I wasn't going to join because i would fe

August has been wonderful as far as goal setting. Or I would say overcoming stigmas I have put upon myself. I did a lot of traveling in the last few months. I decided August was a month I was going to just sit tight at home. I have realized how many things I don't do out of fear. And, staying home for a month living alone is one of them. But, I accomplished so much! It even made me go out and get a job! And, I started selling on Ebay. One of my fears is eating too much. And, that has been a struggle. But, I stopped drinking soda in May. I think that is good, but hasn't made a difference in my weight or how I feel. But, I don't need it, which is a good thing. Creatively I had a workshop in the middle of the month. It was seven days of zoom calls at 1pm. It really helped me free myself from fears. Also, unlearning what I learned getting a degree in Art. But, ever since I tried to paint since then, I still need some kind of guidance. This workshop was very en

I still can't believe how seeing nature this year effects my mood so much. I started seeing mushrooms a couple of weeks ago as I walked from my car to my house. I have been making fairies (I have made 2 so far) and I decided to buy a few to take photos with. I started wishing to see some, when I was prepared with them in my car. I was so surprised when I came a across a bunch in Point Pleasant. They were so big I could see them in enough time to turn and park my car. Then two days later I went to Georgian Court University to work on my resume. And, what did I see? The biggest and hugest mushrooms I have seen so far. I debated or not whether to bring the fairies, but I did not. I know this is all about this time in my life. I am definitely taking time in all I do to focus on "stopping and smelling the roses". But, I am always astonished when I am brought to a site for a different reason, but it brings me this unexplainable joy when I see something as common as a