New Horizons

This weekend I get to work at each one of the different estates we cater to. Last night I was at Mallard Estate in LBI. I loved the hydrangeas and daisies. The gate in the back I have always thought would be the perfect moon rise photo. But, getting back into the groove of working on my feet, was exhausting! Today I go to Ashford, which is in the country outside of Jackson. I am going to Frenchtown in the morning, first. I am visiting Art Yard. Ian played in one of their Hatch celebrations in 2022. I was disappointed I didn't know about it before. It is a live Art parade usually with handmade costumes representing birds hatched from a giant sculpture egg. Today is the opening of Suleika Jaouad's of her Giant watercolor paintings. Her mother is also exhibited the work she did when she was pregnant with Suleika. I found about this through The Isolation Journals. Her two events this weekend sold out within minutes. It is just as well, I ended up scheduled both days to work. I did make her a Frida Kahlo journal. I am also giving her an emproidery of the song Butterfly. Her husband Jon Batiste was up for an grammy as best song this year with this song. I am going to leave it with someone with hopes she gets it. I feel so lucky this exhibit is relatively close by. The last six months has been a pleasure following along on her journey. I hope to be able to take some pictures to share from the exhibit. Quote of the day: To say that I'm healed, uh, would be to imply that there's an endpoint. And I think healing is something that we all do, that we'll all continually do, for the rest of our lives. Suleika Jaouad Song of the day: Butterfly by Jon Batiste So LUCKY to spend Mother's Day at this show.

Lessons a Flower Taught Me

Columbine.....what do you think of? I still think of a massacre at a school. But, this year I am hoping to change this. It has been a complete year in my home, and not working full time. I was finally able to feel all the feels. Not, emabarass myself if I reacted sadly to the news, a movie, a friend's misfortune or just life in general. I was afraid of getting depressed, because I didn't have a purpose in each day. But, what I did have, was this wonderful feeling when I awoke. And, it felt so good to have this feeling each day. I have to say this spirit started to crumble in October, when things weren't going too well. It is financial, and it will resolve itself beyond my control. And, in the long run this is just what I have to deal with. And, I had a lot of what ifs. Especially, the growth on my back I was worried about. And, my worries came true with it being cancer. My doctors, nurses, family and friends made me realize I am not alone. And, that was a feeling I really needed. But, the word cancer is hard to hear when you have it. And, I could let worrying really take over my thought process. But, I have worked really hard this year on how I react to anything. Meditation is what helps me the most. Then getting a good night's sleep. All of this without taking medication, drinking or a lot of sugar. I had some ginger ale in the house when I had my surgery. And, I bought some mini candy bars. But, my cravings for a beer, soda or candy has really subsided. Growing up I was SO skinny. I think back, and my forgetfulness was really bad. I would be SO busy each day. Many days I would forget to eat. I really had not much of an appetite. When I went away to college, and had food put in front of me, is when I started to gain weight. I am talking about all this, because I realized my mood and emotions could get the best of me. I was afraid of losing motivation to be with people. Or the worst be paralyzed by my own fears. This is where columbine comes in. I saw this beautiful flower in April when the first daffodils began to bloom. And, it stopped me in my tracks. It is the MOST beautiful flower I have ever seen. I cut the first bloom off to press. I felt so bad, because I loved looking at the flower as I entered or left my house. And, then I had three or four blooms. I didn't know it would press well. And, on Good Friday I came out and they were all eaten. Then I thought when I looked at the pressing (and it looked great). Good thing I did press the one. Now, in June I pressed two more. and I used them on handmade paper I made last week. To make the paper it took all day. I added lavender into the pulp. The pulp I made from shredded bills. It took the week to fully dry the paper. I am so happy with the results. I will post them in my stories today, and a reel in my instagram. I am also happy with the watercolor above, which includes my columbine. I am looking forward to next year to see if the columbine comes back. This is faith, I believe. This is what makes me awake with a smile on my face. I believe it comes down to what we pay attention to. And, I am learning I don't have to own "things" or eat junk in order to feel good. It is a lesson I needed to teach myself for a long time. Quote of the Day: 'To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.' Audrey Hepburn Song of the Day: My Days written by Ingrid Michaelson sung by Joy Woods for the Notebook. I did listen to this song when I painted this watercolor

The Butterfly Wrestler

Who is the Butterfly Wrestler? This is a picture of one of the first butterfly wresters I made last year. This one is pink and green. I made this one in honor of a kindred spirit who left this world too soon. It helped me process the grief of this person leaving us here. But, also is a celebration of her spirit. And, the spirit of someone may dull after time, but we never lose it entirely. I am looking forward to taking her with me this summer. Her first stop will be at the fairy trail this week. I hope there will be as many mushrooms on her journey, as there were last year. I brought the six butterfly wrestlers I made last year to the lavender and lamb festival last weekend. I got a really good response from someone. I will be putting a few back on Ebay. I won't be making any more. They take a lot of time. But, I will be putting together kits to sell. This week I hope to start listing on Ebay again. I haven't listed anything in about a month. Ebay is like a lemon-ade stand for me. I am glad I have something to do this summer. And, I am glad to get back to work with Meri Makers this weekend. Quote of the day: “Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come.”— Mario Quintana Song of the day: Defying Gravity Broadway 20th Anniversary

Healing Is Always On The Horizon

It has been three years since EVERYTHING in my life changed. One thing I liked was having more time to look at the horizon. And, I feel this gave me the most hope. Getting out of the house, and seeing different horizons has also helped. During my last month of healing I thought about this. And, I thought there is never a time I looked at the horizon, and felt complete. There was always thoughts of gratefulness. But, the thought of the future is always uncertain. My hopes for the future are to travel more. And, to paint as many horizons, I am in the mood to paint, as possible. Quote of the day: I think it is in out nature to look beyond that next horizon. I think that when we, as a species, are scratching that itch, we're actually following an evolutionary compulsion that is wired into us. I think good things come of it. Ron Howard Warning this a sad song. I feel my friends all around me. And, they sing the sweetest songs. https://youtu.be/hLyZH3u2TRI?si=b2U7Dogb5Lr3qYEq Nick Cave Lavender Fields

Be Ok

So glad to say I finally feel better, than just OK. I finally have a full day planned for today. I am also visiting the Stone Pony this week. And, it is reminding me of the time I saw Ingrid Michaelson at the Stone Pony. It was a rainy and windy night. And, she brought her light, energy and sweet words to us. It was a great performance and a sing along. At the time she was taking off. Her songs were featured on the very popular Grey's Anatomy. I love to think of that time in her career. Then seeing her on a Tropicana orange juice commercial. And, now she produced the music for the play The Notebook. Now playing on Broadway. My favorite song is My Days. It has become my anthem. Because, it helped me celebrate being alone at home doing absolutely nothing. I am to a point I am celebrating each day. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to wake up and approach each day this way. I think what the last few years taught me was a lot I already knew. I just couldn't get there with the stress I was causing myself. I just wanted to feel like myself again. And, it has been the biggest struggle of my life. But, I finally can say I feel peaceful and ok. Probably about the same time I saw Ingrid at the Stone Pony was the same time I started meditation. Back then, I would listen to my daughter getting ready for school in the morning. I was introduced to Ingrid, Adele, and Taylor that way. But, most of all I loved hearing her singing along. After she left the nest, I started to meditate. And, then I would post on my blog. Looking for the perfect song to go with my mood. So, with all this time on my hands. I would think of the things that made me most happy. I am in the middle of Deepok Chopra and Oprah's Flow Meditation. And, it has sounds of birds and a babbling brook in the backround. And, it fills me with joy and makes me feel powerful. So thankful, I found something that makes feel this way. The tea towel I embroidered the words of the song, was also from about fifteen years ago. I bought it the first time I was in an Anthropologie store. The birds are singing with music notes. I love this song is what I chose to be on this towel. Quote of the day: "Turn your wounds into wisdom" Oprah Winfrey Song of the day: BE OK by Ingrid Michaelson

Freebird

I loved making these tea towels this weekend. This one is from April Cornell, and already had the bird embroidered on it. This song has meant so much to me through the years. And, I have written about it before. But, I focus on a song with good memories. And, ask myself if I can get those good feelings back. And, I have not come up with a reason why I can not. And, spending hours with the thought, is really helpful. It is very meditative. I can now sit in my house with no music or tv for hours. I am amazed. It took about a year. I don't feel I have to jump in the car anymore, either. This is a really good place to be. But, I am ready to travel. Not so much to get away. But, to be awe-inspired. I absolutely love the feeling walking into a cathedral or a museum. Hearing voices speaking languages I don't understand. And, just sitting in amazement. Lately, I have been focused on Assisi. I would love to walk the same path as St. Francis. Most of all, I would love to see Giotto's paintings in person. He was a pre-renaissance painter. He was the first painter to start making his figures three dimensional. My first paper I did in Renaissance Art was on him. I can go to my hometown's church of St. Catharine's and get that feeling of awe. I love the cherubs and angels painted on the ceiling. And, that is what my class in Renaissance art gave me. I had been away from that church for about fifteen years. And, it really made me appreciate it more. I was always pretty obsessed with that church, anyway. But, it instilled a lot of fear in me at the same time. Like, a feeling I didn't deserve to be there. Those feelings are the ones I am working on. Everyone deserves to be a freebird, free of fear, and flying to new heights. Quote of the day: I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Charles Dickens Song of the day: Freebird Leonard Skynard

Acceptance

I made this journal over the weekend. It is a Mary Cassatt pastel from a 1989 Sotheby's Catalogue. I made a copy on sticker paper and attached it to a compostition book. I started mapping out a train trip on an Acela train. Going from Boston, Philadelphia and New York. It ended up being way beyond my means. I kept scrolling different Museums and writing down addresses etc. When I went back to facebook. A class came up for the Barnes in Philadelphia. I read it was two young woman curators for the Exhibit at Philadelphia Museum of Art. It was Tuesday Nights in June. I thought this would be perfect, and I wouldn't have the cost of travel. The class was $199. I gave it a lot of thought. And, then noticed there was a scholarship. I would just have to apply at no cost. While I was going through the news of having cancer, I also recieved an answer to an application for a fellowship. I applied at the end of March, and it would have been two weeks at an Artist Residency in the South of France. There were 113 applicants, and two women won. They featured their pictures, and I am looking forward to following them. It doesn't cost anything to apply, so I will still give it a shot, again. I also entered a writing contest through Princeton University concerts, and the winners were announced last week at the reception. I was able to hear the winner speak and read her entry. I was very thankful I did not win. I hate public speaking. As much as I was disappointed that I didn't win either of these. I am very proud I applied. Also, I consider myself the biggest winner, when I found out there was no cancer in my lymph nodes. And, all the cancer was removed for the growth. So, I decided I had nothing to lose for applying for the scholarship. And, Monday I decided I just had to see the exhibit for myself. I was so happy I did. I learned so much. And, can't wait to learn more! Because, I won the scholarship! And, I am at the ready with my composition book. And, the five favorite postcards of the exhibit. Quote of the Day: Acceptance, under someone else's terms, is worse than rejection. Mary Cassatt Song of the Day: You Can't Always Get What You Want Rolling Stones