The Butterfly Wrestler

Living alone a lot of my voice is here as I write a blog. Alot of what was discussed at the Workshop: The Art of New Creation was on our inner voice We had many excercises One was to find your inner child Another was to talk to youself as it was God was guiding you. We talked about the winding river of life. And how we adjust to the bends in the river. I am realizing a lot more listening to the voices of others are so important in this part of my journey. Life is not a perfect straight line. It really sucks sometimes. This is the empath in me. It distracts me from my own problems. I have been paying attention to music for a long time I feel it is my best mood booster. It is not just the words but, the rythym that can lift me up. Sometimes, I listen to music to calm me down. So, music is powerful. One story I can't get of my head is Jesse Malin. He is a musician and I have heard him as a DJ on Underground Garage. His life right now isn't a bend in a river. It is

Every time I look out this window, I notice something different. Not, just because of the change of seasons But, because I am still growing and learning I think we are a lot like flowers. We have years we bloom, and years we are dormant. Most of the time it is for reasons out of our control. Rob Bell during the workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert brought up the subject of time. He noted sayings about time. As if they are a crime or something violent if we take our time. Sayings like: carve out some time, stealing time, or the best one is killing time. This last job I had was the most time off in a year, and it even had initials: MTO Managed time off. It took me a year to figure out I could only have one weekend off a month. And, any vacation could only include one weekend. As I get older I realize most celebrations take place on weekends. I am just too old for having permission or choosing what I can celebrate. In the picture above I found this in a book I revisited. And,

I have been taking a lot of pictures of archways lately. I think with each one I pass through it is showing I am open to learning new things. The archways make me feel like they are welcoming me into a new path of my life My favorite is the archway at my daughter's house. The arch way in this picture was from Omega Institute. My biggest take away from this workshop was to learn how to relax. Sounds silly, but I am having a hard time with it. Elizabeth Gilbert actually wants to start a Relax Revolution and I am in. She wants us to not feel we are lazy by relaxing. She shared some of her meditation practices, and I found them really helpful. Especially, one using counting and all five senses. So, I hope you find some time to just relax today AND feel good about it. Quote of the day: To me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too. Elizabeth Gilbert Song of the day: Simon and Garfunkel 59th Steet Bridge https://youtu.be/m

I should be waking up in Kingston, NY this morning. And I should be in a workshop with Rob Bell and Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love) I am writing this on my phone because my laptop is slowly dying. I am happy to report I am good with it. When I first saw the workshop posted I was shocked I was able to get in. It was a sold out event of 450 kindred spirits. When I pushed the button and I was in, my heart jumped. Of course it did. It went right to my practical part of my mind thinking of the cost. But, then I saw an application for a scholarship. And, then came the waiting game. And, I got it! I was one of the 20 lucky attendants and was awarded the workshop for free. I waited too long to get a place to stay on campus I checked into a Marriot in Kingston, which was about twenty minutes away. Last night after a ten hour day at Omega Institute I drove back to the Marriot. I was charging my phone because I accidently left the video on (now deleted). I arrived at the Marri

I found it at Serenity Farms . But, it came with controversary. The family is moving to Florida. And, I overheard conversations, and I tried really hard not to listen. I approached the driveway and was impressed by the huge property. It started to pour, and the field was full of people. They continued to pick lavender, and take pictures. I was happy to see tables under a huge tent. I asked if I could watercolor paint. I found a chair that wasn't wet. I was disppointed with the paper I bought, and will have to buy better paper. But, listening to the appreciative people pay for the lavender they picked. I couldn't wait to get out to the field to start picking. I had the field to myself. I took videos and began cutting. Suddenly, realizing how quiet and serene this was. I inhaled with delight and exhaled exhaustion. I listened to the bees, who seemed just as happy. And, whenever I took a video I was able to dance along with a butterfly fluttering through the fie

Lavender season has begun. There is just a little pocket of time to see lavender in full bloom each year. I have already visited Mohawk Furnace Farm, PA and Pleasant Valley Lavender in Morganville. As I was driving home from Art on the Porch in Ocean Grove I almost drove right past the new Allaire Lavender Farm . It is a road I drive frequently. But, this was a Saturday, which meant the farm was open to the public for a few hours. I was happy to get a small bouquet to take home. This picture was taken there, and you can see the blooms in the field. Sadly, on the computer you can't inhale the scent of lavender. When I saw the sign up in December, I almost drove off the road. To think we have a lavender field in this area is remarkable. They had really nice things in the store. I especially loved the alpaca shaped soaps. It is also an alpaca farm. There is a great barn to celebrate a special occasion like a shower, anniversary or birthday party. Besides the author e

I can feel my new life as a writer has taken hold. I am bursting with energy, to not just walk by a garden. But, to breathe in the sight and scent of each one. It fills my soul, and I can't wait to write about it. I am in two writing classes, now. I signed up for two book signings in Spring Lake this week. These are both really exciting, as they are launch weeks for each of the authors. I also am going to Asbury Park tonight, for "Writing Asbury Park Then and Now" at the Stephen Crane (Red Badge of Courage) house. And, to finish the evening Ian (my son) will be playing with Alix Simone (grandson of Nina Simone) at the Watermark. My calender looked pretty boring in the beginning of the week. So, happy to fill it in with inspiration of authors. The picture above is with Fiona Davis. It was pub day for her new book The Spectacular about a Rockette set in Radio City Music Hall. I will be making sure to see the Christmas show there this year. I absolutely love

Time is going by swiftly, but I am taking time to do all the things that I love. It is amazing how naturally this still makes me feel guilty. I am noticing my own patterns and making efforts to change my old habits. I have been able to spend a lot of time in my hometown I am finding it grounding, and it is making me realize how much I am growing. The most important thing I have accomplished is getting a good night's sleep. I also can read a book in a week. So, this week I am going to two book signings in my hometown for some more summertime reading. I also am interested in meeting them, and hearing them speak. I still need to schedule a lot each week, to keep me happy. The roses in this picture was taken at The Art on The Porch walk. Such a lovely event which was free and no reservations needed. To see the gardens and the artwork made for an outstanding day. Quote of the day: No rose without a thorn--french proverb Song of the day: Everything is Coming Up Roses B

Visiting Longwood Gardens at the time I did was quite amazing. It really put things in perspective for me. It was the mostly the roses and the scent in the air. Seeing the arbors of 100 year old roses and realizing I was there at a very perfect time. And,each year there are only so many days to witness this. And, even though I am not working, it is making me realize how short of a window of time I have left. I am not saying this to be morbid. It is just the more time I have to think. It is more time I feel I have to take to witness all the beauty there is to see. I have never felt this way before. I always had a "someday" attitude. And, now I get to treat every day as "someday". I am enjoying every day to the fullest. Even if it is just looking out the window as I am doing the dishes. This week I am still seeing a mother robin guarding her nest in a bush. My hydrangea bushes under my window didn't bloom when I first looked at this place last July.

My journey to joy has been in the making my whole life. There are decades, where life was just taking me there with not much thought or attention. But, when I had some time to think, I would actually work on a plan. So, here I am one month of not working and collecting social security. I have a two year plan. And, what I am putting my focus and attention on is people who are taking thier land and either conserving it or farming it. This could be a lavender field or a place like Longwood Gardens. There are SO many places to visit in the tri-state area. I hope to also photograph and paint what I am seeing. There is a limited time for the lavender to be in full bloom. A lot will depend on the weather. It is a lot of work to plan out the perfect trips. But, since I can't control the weather, I am going to write out the addresses. If it is far away I will try to visit as many as possible in a day. I may even go in the rain. I have done that before, and find it just as e